


DINGDINGDONG

by lacerations



Category: Death Note
Genre: Other, Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 12:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1550231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacerations/pseuds/lacerations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You bit it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	DINGDINGDONG

"My ding ding dong hurts," said Mello, who had been told that ding ding dong was the medical term for penis and believed it.  
"Sorry Mello," Matt said, not sounding very sorry.  
"You bit it," accused Mello, frowning.  
"Yes. That's probably why it hurts."  
Near entered the room.  
"I couldn't help but overhear," said the twelve year old quietly.  
"That Mello's ding ding dong hurts?"  
"Yes," said Near. "If Mello wants me to I could rub my special lotion on it for him?"  
"Wat." Mello blinked. Near got out his special lotion and removed Mello's clothes for him.  
"That was quick, Near," remarked Matt, who had never seen anyone remove someone else's clothes so quickly.  
"Hmmmm," moaned Mello happily as his ding ding dong was covered with creamy lilac-coloured papaya-scented lotion gunk. Near looked into Mello's bright eyes, rubbing the lotion in sensually with the tips of his fingers.  
"My ding ding dong feels nice," said Mello, content.  
"Look, it's getting bigger," said Near. It was in fact getting bigger.  
"I think Mello likes you," teased Matt, as Mello's ding ding dong began to twitch happily.  
"I like Near," confirmed Mello, touching his nose against Near's and almost falling over.  
"I like Mello too," said Near, noticing that his own ding ding dong was growing inside his pants. He took them off.  
"I like Near so much!" said Mello, his voice full of joy. They hugged each other tightly, their ding ding dongs rubbing together.  
"I like Mello so much tooooo," Near moaned.  
"Who likes me?" said Matt. Silence enveloped the room. No one liked Matt. Not even the mosquito that was sucking blood out of his arm. He began to cry both inwardly and outwardly as he came to the realisation that nothing and no one could ever fill the void. He was completely alone in the world. And in the universe.


End file.
